国际学校:怎样有效利用剑桥雅思写作范文?
国际学校的同学们在准备雅思写作时,有效以及有权威性的参考资料无疑是剑桥官方出版的剑桥雅思真题系列丛书。剑桥里面的写作文章有7分以上的高分范文,也有低分的文章供考生们参考。考官针对每篇作文都给出了详细的评分说明,根据评分标准,从内容,逻辑连贯,词汇,语法四个方面分析了每篇作文得高分以及得低分的原因。那么很多同学们又会有这样的疑问:剑桥的范文固然好,但是如何才能全面有效地利用高分范文呢?尤其是其中的一些论证逻辑以及好词好句。针对这一问题,在本篇文章中,本文将以剑桥五中的gap year一文为例,深入为同学们解决这一难题。
Topic: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people to do this.
剑桥五中的这篇gap year应该是烤鸭们很熟悉的一篇范文,文章写得非常简洁出彩。那么针对这一篇高分范文该如何进行有效的利用与仿写呢?
首先,我们分析一下这篇文章的审题思路:
文章的对象是高中毕业生,两边对立面是高中毕业后直接上大学与高中毕业后工作或者旅游一年去上大学。从题目关键词切入,优点分析可以从很多方面进行分类讨论。比如可以从工作一年的优点与旅游一年的优点分析,可以与直接上大学的学生对比,经历gap year一年的学生的优点有哪些。可以从学生的不同情况,穷学生与富学生体验一年gap year的好处分析,思路非常多。同理,论述缺点的时候也是一样的思维方式。
其次,我们分析下这篇范文的开头段:
It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school. This trend is not restricted to rich students who have the money to travel, but is also evident among poorer students who choose to work and become economically independent for a period of time.
首先在思路上,文章开篇用人物分类法开头,把学生分类为有钱在gap year旅游的学生以及家庭困难,在gap year工作的学生。其次,句式上,这个开头一共用了两个长句结构,一个是it is引导的句型it is quite common these days for sb. to do; 二个句型用了be restricted to+从句,but is also evident+从句的结构。通过学习这样的开头方式,我们在写作文的时候在开头部分也可以套用这样的逻辑分类以及长句结合的开头来仿写一个简洁有新意的开头。
然后,我们仔细分析下文章的主体段:
The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that a young adult who passes directly from school to university is rather restricted in terms of general knowledge and experience of the world. By contrast, those who have spent some time earning a living or travelling to other places, have a broader view of life and better personal resources to draw on. They tend to be more independent, which is very important factor in academic study and research, as well as giving them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of student life.
首先在思路上,文章用了一个对比论证,对比了直接上大学对知识与经验的缺乏,工作或旅游一年可以开阔眼界,积累人脉。然后用了因果论证,论述了这样的好处,对未来的帮助。对比论证一直是一种比较常用的论证方法,尤其在两边对立面以及优缺点分析时,用对比与因果的结合是一种有效的思路。句式上,用了三个长句结构,一个是The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that……+who…, 一个同位语与定语的结合,可以用于原因句的开头。二个句型用了those who…的定语从句。三个句型用了…, which…, as well as doing…, 用了非限定性从句与并列结构,可用于因果论证时写优点的句型。词汇上,passes directly from …to, be rather restricted in terms of…, draw on, tend to, as well as, cope with等词组都是值得仿写应用的一些好词。
However, there are certainly dangers in taking time off at the important age. Young adults may end up never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to readapt to an academic environment. They may think that it is better to continue in a particular job, or to do something completely different from a university course. But overall, I think this is less likely today, when academic qualifications are essential for getting a reasonable career.
在写gap year缺点这段时,思路上基本以说理为主,学生很容易放弃学业。写了这种现象的原因,但又结合现在的实际情况分析了这种可能性很少会发生在重视文凭的时代,条理清楚,也是我们在写缺点时的一种值得仿写的思路。本段在语言上较简单,基本以there be与简单句为主,此外用到了形式宾语find it difficult to do的结构。词汇上,用take time off避免表达重复,并且使用了end up doing, readapt to等词组。
后,我们来分析一下结尾段:
My view is that young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizons. That is the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives and why. Students with such a perspective are usually the most effective and motivated ones and taking a year off may be the best way to gain this.
内容上,后一段用了常规的思路,给出观点,并且总结上文。句式上,用了被动态与从句,比如说sb should be encouraged to do, 与that is the best way for sb to do等句式。词汇上用了broaden their horizons, get a clear perspective, take a year off等替换结构,避免单词的重复性。
只有对好的范文进行有效的总结与分析,模仿其拓展思路,词汇与句式的用法,才能有所积累,提高写作水平。同时,对于一些低分范文,烤鸭们也要进行仔细分析,避免犯同样的错误。
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